Lover Not a Fighter
by Yet Another Yaoi Fan Girl
Summary: He was a lover, not a fighter. He had decided that within himself as soon as he heard Meg mutter the phrase to him. He knew Dean longed for him... needed his help... wanted him to fight... but if he could not fight for him... maybe he could love him instead. Crazy!Cas Bottom!Cas Top!Dean Rated M for smut and language
1. Chapter 1

**Lover Not a Fighter.**

* * *

He was a lover, not a fighter.

He had decided that within himself as soon as he heard Meg mutter the phrase to him.

She had said something to Cas about helping the Winchesters out with Dick and the Leviathans, but Cas quickly refused by saying he did not wish to fight anymore… That's when Meg had said it.

To Cas, it was true. He had been a fighter for as long as he could remember, one of God's soldier's, a true warrior for the lord… but now, after failing as God, and making a huge mess for the Winchesters to clean up… Cas did not wish to fight anymore… he wanted to give up… he wanted to love instead.

Loving was such a strange concept for Castiel at first… he was raised more for destruction and fighting God's wars after all… But when he saw Dean for the first time… he felt something he'd never felt before. Adoration…

Adoration for a man who's soul who had been through so much... and yet… was still pure.

Adoration because for the first time he saw that not all souls were corrupt and those who are good always seem to have a light shining within them…

Then, as he began to know Dean, to see him everyday… he began to love him.

Dean was a solider just like Castiel, he fought hard to protect others and did what he believed in.

He pushed and shoved against Castiel's way of thinking until he cracked open everything Cas ever thought he knew. Cas was forced to see what Dean was trying to show him, and he didn't always like what he saw...

Dean made Cas question, gave him permission to question… Question things he'd been too scared to even think about for years. And even though the answers were hard to swallow… Dean was there to help him through.

And there was a longing, a silent never-ending prayer that flowed from the man like a river, straight to Castiel's soul. The moment they met, it started.

Dean had a longing hope that Cas would be the one to save him. If Cas had the power to pull him up from hell then maybe he would be the one that would help him and Sam make everything okay.

Over the years the longing had grown louder, deeper…

Dean would sometimes lock eyes with Cas with such an overwhelming longing that it would make the angel feel like he was drowning. He was always there for Dean, always trying to do whatever he could for the man, and yet this longing… this need that Dean desired… Cas had to carry it with him, unable to escape it… unable to solve it… unable to fix it…

He could feel it now, as he sat alone in a garden somewhere in Mississippi, watching a bee lazily floating from one flower to the next, he could feel it. The burning of Dean Winchester in his chest.

It felt like hands on Castiel's soul, squeezing… needing.

It made him feel like he couldn't breathe.

He knew Dean wanted him to fight. A lot of what Dean yearned for was protection… but Cas… he just couldn't fight anymore… And maybe if he couldn't fight for Dean anymore… he could love for him instead.

He was scared… he knew that Dean was yearning for his help… and when it got to be strong like this, it was because Dean was about to call out to him… but he just couldn't give it to him right now… and he hated having to let him down… he couldn't face him.

Cas shook his head and tried to focus again on the bees. There was one crawling along his hand... Bees were fascinating… always following their natural plan. As he focused on the tickle of the bees legs on his skin… the ache in his chest from Dean became easier to ignore.

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_I decided to split this into two chapters because the pacing changes a little bit. Please hurry on to Chapter 2!_


	2. Chapter 2

To say the very least, Dean was stressed out.

There was all this trouble with Leviathans, and Dick Roman, and losing Bobby, and Dean felt all alone in this huge monstrosity. Sam wanted to be all touchy feely about his emotions over Bobby, and Dean just didn't need that right now.

He needed to get this finished! He needed Dick to pay for what he had done! Cas was usually his go to guy when things got out of hand and Sam was being annoying, but he had lost any marbles that he had left when he took on Sam's crazy.

Cas was always the guy for him to be able to depend on… and now, suddenly, he was useless. Even though he was still the same face and name, he was completely different. He was Castiel, but he wasn't Castiel… and it hurt Dean like hell.

He had decided to try calling Cas again to see if he could get anything out of him… Crazy, cursed or whatever, he needed somebody, and every fiber of his being was yearning for Cas. Even if he was out of his mind right now, maybe just seeing his stupid face would ease some of this stress.

Dean had parked out in the middle of nowhere, thinking for a long time before actually calling out to the angel. He worked on Baby a little bit, tightening a few things, loosening a few others and then finally he couldn't take it anymore and called out to Cas.

After a few moments of silence the sound of wings fluttered in Dean's ears. Behind him he heard the angel call out his usual "Hello Dean," and when he turned his head Castiel was there… _completely naked_, on the hood of his car, covered in honey and bees.

Well, not completely naked, he still had on that stupid coat, but he was making no move to use it to cover himself. Instead it lay open, exposing him completely to Dean.

Dean's mouth literally dropped open and his brain slowed down to a crawl.

Cas had honey all over his body, in really fucked up places. Right under his nipple, his hip bone, right underneath his belly button… Dean thought he even saw some on the tip of his dick, but he tried not to look at it. It was like he got in a really sexual tickle fight with a honey monster or something, Dean's brain wasn't really making sense right now.

The hunter spun away and turned a bright shade of red.

"JESUS, CAS! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

Baby squeaked as Cas sat up. The sound of it made Dean turn his head to look Cas in the eyes… there wasn't even a trace of embarrassment on the angel's face.

"You called me," was all he said.

Like that was enough to answer why the hell he was naked and covered in honey!?

Dean caught himself looking at his hip bone again, and damn, sure enough there was honey just near the tip of Cas's dick… it was also on his thighs… and Dean found his mouth watering. Dean unconsciously bit at his lip. He wanted that sweet bitterness of honey in his mouth, he wanted to eat Cas up.

With Cas draped across his car, he wanted him so much that he could hardly think. It was like something broke loose inside of him and was drowning him with how much he longed to have Castiel's body underneath his. Dean tried to focus. Cas wasn't in his right mind. He didn't mean it the way Dean was taking it… He probably didn't even understand what was wrong with what he was doing…

"CAS! What the hell man," That was good, he needed to yell. Needed to keep control of himself. "Why are you naked?"

"I like the way the bees feel against my skin… they tickle."

Dean felt his head spinning and once again caught himself checking out Castiel's nude body. Fuck.

He felt himself blushing and becoming hard. This wasn't going to end well if Cas kept teasing him like this.

"Okay, great…" Dean forced himself to turn away again, he couldn't keep control if he kept staring at those globs of honey shining against the angel's skin. "Cas, you're covered in honey, and you're naked… you need to clean up and put some clothes on."

Dean turned back to look at him, he could do this. He just needed to remain composed.

And oh god… Slowly, Cas took his index finger and ran it along the spot of honey smeared along his hip bone before placing that finger in his mouth to suck the honey off.

Dean's heart started pounding in his chest. "C-Cas…?"

Castiel's blue eyes flashed into his and he looked at Dean for a few minutes.

"I collected it myself, do you want to taste it?"

Dean found himself nodding and moving toward the angel before he could truly think about what he was doing. He leaned over the angel and watched as Cas looked down to the spot of honey just beneath his nipple.

To anyone else on the planet, this would be sexual. Hell, Dean was already burning up with lust for the angel just watching him. Cas, however, didn't even seem to realize what was happening… he was squinting up at the human, trying to see what it was that Dean was wanting. That longing that Dean held within him was throbbing.

How long would it take him to get it, Dean wondered… Would he stop Dean if he just let go and took control?

Oh fuck.

Cas moved like he was going to scoop up some more of the honey onto his finger but Dean stopped his hand before the angel could get there and leaned forward. His tongue slid along the honey before he finally clamped down and began to suck it away from the angel's skin.

Castiel made a gentle noise of confusion mixed with pleasure… and everything else evaporated away.

"Dean – that…,"

That's strange, was what Cas wanted to say, but that wasn't totally true either. It felt good, not in the same sense as the bees felt good tickling against his skin… but in an almost dangerous kind of way.

Castiel squirmed beneath him until Dean finally pulled away and looked him in the eye. That longing was pounding along with Dean's heart. His face was flushed… and Cas tried so hard to understand what it was that his human needed.

He would give it to him…

"How does it taste," Cas asked, he said the first thing that came to mind.

Dean leaned forward and hovered with his lips just inches from Cas's. "Here, taste," was all he said before he pushed their lips together.

He licked against Cas's still mouth until he finally began to kiss back. It wasn't long until Cas was snaking his curious tongue into Dean's mouth. When the kiss deepened, something happened, a small surge of relief fluttered through Cas. As Dean's mouth moved against his, the longing within him began to feel as if it were being satisfied.

Was this what Dean wanted? Affection in a human type manner? He leaned upward, pressing his mouth more directly into Dean's, tasting him, and the honey…

A bee buzzed past Dean's ear and he pulled away from Cas.

Cas was searching Dean's face hard, he could feel the longing inside, but now instead of an ache it was more of a buzz… was this good? Was Dean satisfied? Or did he require more?

Cas hoped he required more… he wanted to give him more. He liked the buzz… it was like the bees… it was exciting…

"The honey ran out," Cas breathed. His eyes were shrouded with lust and bewilderment.

Dean pulled back a little bit and went for the spot of honey just below Castiel's belly button.

Things began to change then.

At first, it had felt good to have Dean's lips on his skin. It was exciting in a way that Cas wasn't quite used to. But now, this was even more. It made Cas's body feel tight in a way he could not explain. It sent pleasure racing through his body that he'd never felt before. It tickled and hurt and felt so amazing all at the same time… Dean's mouth, sucking against his skin… And that longing… the buzzing of it was growing, and it was starting to ache again… all at the same time.

Oh god, it was worse than ever now. Dean seemed to be wanting this so bad… and Cas… Cas had no problem giving him what he wanted. He wanted to just ask Dean what it was he was longing for. He wanted to just give it to him once and for all. He wanted to end Dean's ache.

"D- dean…" was all he could whimper out.

As Dean's tongue continued against his skin Cas's body began to react in a way that Cas was not used to. He felt hot, and needy, and he felt something between his legs slowly stiffening. It made him squirm, was this normal? He was very unsure as to how these human rituals went, he couldn't help but worry if what he was feeling was 'natural'. Dean however, did not seem shocked or disgusted… so perhaps all was well?

Dean continued moving his mouth against Castiel's skin before pulling away and breathing heavily. Their lips were connected once again and Dean grabbed Castiel's sides and slid him down until he was right beneath him on the hood of his Impala.

He wanted so badly to get inside, to find release, to make Cas his again, to find some control over the angel… for some reason this felt right to Dean, like how things would be normally. And that was so messed up… but Dean knew that, and he didn't care. He needed this, he needed Cas, and he'd wanted this for so long… he just wouldn't admit it to himself.

He and Cas had never done anything sexual before, Dean tried to keep his feelings hidden, but there was no going back now. Dean needed this like he needed oxygen. And he was going to take it. In Dean's fucked up and stressed out mind, Cas was just giving him some bodily relief, like any friend would. Hell, he'd do it for Cas if he needed it… right?

All Cas really knew for sure was that he loved the way Dean's mouth felt against his, he loved even more when Dean pressed that mouth to his skin to suck the honey away… Dean's tongue was sliding along his hip bone and Cas felt his entire body trembling, he felt sounds bubbling up in his throat but he fought them down with uncertainty.

If he did something wrong, surely Dean would stop. And for the first time, Dean seemed to be finding whatever it was that he'd been longing for. Whether it was his skin, or the honey, Dean was finding it, and ever so slowly easing that weight from Castiel's chest. Cas fought down the sounds, because he couldn't risk Dean stopping. He needed Dean to be happy, and he couldn't fight for him… If this… whatever this was… was what Dean wanted… then Cas would gladly give it to him.

Dean's tongue slid against the hardening part between Cas's legs as he licked the honey away there. It sent a bomb of pleasure through his body forcing sound out of him as Dean's sucked against it.

"D-dean, that- ah! It…," He was muttering nonsense as he tightly gripped Dean's clothing, he thought that surely his vessel would burst from all this pleasure. All he could hear was the sound of Dean sucking against his skin. It was hot, and the tug… and he couldn't keep his eyes open. Just when he thought he could hardly take anymore, Dean pulled away from it, leaving it wet and throbbing for more.

"Cas, can I come inside?"

That was all nonsense to Cas… Dean said it so quickly, and Castiel's head was still spinning from the wondrous pleasure from before. He wasn't sure if he could handle anymore… he didn't even truly know what Dean meant. But he did not wish to fight with Dean, and if he wanted to be inside then so be it.

He was pretty unsure about how both he and Dean would share Jimmy's vessel though… would they both fit inside it?

"Cas," Dean asked again. His voice sounded harsh and clipped.

"Yes," Cas grunted out, and he watched as Dean undid his pants and pulled himself out.

It seemed that Dean was experiencing the exact same, strange hardening between his legs, but he seemed to know exactly what to do with it.

"It might hurt…"

"I can withstand it, Dean."

Dean pulled Cas down closer to his waist. Cas was on his back with Dean over him, and once Cas finally gave Dean permission, he was pushing his manhood into Castiel. The angel indeed felt it entering him and they were both sharing his vessel… just not quite how Cas imagined it.

Pressure was all that Cas could really feel, but knowing that Dean was within him sent waves of pleasure through Castiel's body. He gasped, and stared at Dean, but Dean would not meet his gaze.

"Relax Cas," Dean was saying, and perhaps Cas had tensed up? His mind was racing with joy about having Dean inside of him… but he tried his best to comply with Dean's wishes. Dean moved closer and closer until there was nothing else left for him to push inside. Then, he slowly began to remove himself before sliding back in.

Cas had forgotten all about holding back his voice by now, and he was groaning in Dean's ear. He didn't quite understand how this was supposed to work with Dean just moving in and out, but he noticed that Dean seemed to be feeling a lot of pleasure from it. That alone was enough for Cas, being able to give the man bodily pleasure…

The car's brakes began to squeak as Dean began to move faster, his eyes were closed and his forehead began to sweat, and he let Cas cling to his shoulders as he moved. Cas was allowed to touch him… his hair, his neck…

As Dean got more excited he began to thrust deeper until he suddenly struck something within Castiel that had his vessel shuddering with pleasure.

"That- Dean, again, please," Cas choked out, shocked by the sudden rush of pleasure within his vessel.

"Yeah? Nnn- fuck…," Dean whispered, and he started again, aiming right for that spot over and over.

Cas felt like he was losing control of his body. His breathing was out of control, his eyes were rolling back into his head, his back was arching and he was pushing back against Dean with each thrust… His voice was moaning and begging, seemingly without his consent, and if this is what it meant to be a lover and not a fighter, well, Castiel would never go back.

Dean started swearing more and more as he thrusted, and the angel could see through his hazed eyes that Dean was losing control of himself too.

The pleasure was becoming so intense that Castiel feared that he was going to burst again. Dean however, was making no move to stop this time. Instead he was moving faster and faster, like he couldn't get there fast enough.

"Dean, stop, I'm gonna – ha- ahh! Something is-"

But he couldn't stop it, he was bursting. His body shook hard and he was completely overcome with pleasure. He fell into the white hot bliss before he could stop himself. His eyes rolled back into his head and he cried out.

When he came back to his sense Dean was moaning against his neck and saying "Cas," over and over. It seemed that he had experienced the same pleasure as Cas had. He was still thrusting into him… although Cas was sure that they both had achieved the end goal.

The two stayed stuck together for a long time, sweaty, panting and spent… Cas held onto Dean. Feeling him breathe, feeling his clothing, his sweat, his hair… until finally Dean pulled away and started fixing his clothes.

Castiel's body suddenly felt very hollow without Dean within him, and he wanted the human back desperately. But now, Dean was stumbling over words in a rush.

"Cas I'm… sorry, I lost control of myself man… Let's uh… let's keep this a secret between us okay?"

Cas looked down at himself. Instead of bright yellow honey he now had a clear-ish white substance on his skin. It too was sticky, but did not taste good like the honey did. Instead it was salty.

When Cas's eyes met Dean's, Dean looked ashamed.

"Look, don't tell anyone okay? Now… get out of here."

Cas squinted at him for a few moments trying to figure out what was wrong with Dean all of a sudden, the longing was there again… this time stronger… heavier… it had seemed at first that he had finally found a way to satisfy that longing within Dean… but now it had suddenly backfired?

Cas felt sadness creeping though him… He yearned for Dean now. Yearned for him to come back and be stuck to him again, sweaty and panting once more…

"Dean…"

Dean looked up at him now, angry.

"Cas! Go! And don't ever show up naked like that ever again," He shouted… and Dean's longing within Cas ached like a wounded animal.

He was a lover, not a fighter, and he would not fight with Dean… if he wanted him to go… then he would go.

And so, with a nod toward the human he adored, he slid from his car hood and flew away.

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_Alright folks, that's the end for now. I went ahead and updated this chapter a little bit to fix up some typos! Gotta hate those evil typos!_

_Please leave a review and let me know how I'm doing. Constructive Criticism is always welcome!_

_Also, I'm not sure if this is the end of this story or not. I'd love to continue it. Feel free to share some ideas if you have any! And keep an eye for more._

_That's all for now! Happy reading!_


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